March 18, 2011 at 12:29 AM Leave a comment

The wonder of it all!

 Childlike delight comes naturally to me. I’m not sure why, it just does. A turn of phrase…a glimpse of beauty…a truth grasped. The simplest pleasures can send me into the kind of “tippie-toed delight” usually reserved for 5-year-olds on Christmas morning.  It’s just the way I am.

Until recently.

Lately chronic pain has changed all that. They tell me my hormones are out of whack. More like my entire mind, body, and emotions. Nothing feels the same. In addition to unusual physical symptoms that doctors can’t quite address (and friends can’t quite understand), grey seems to be the color of choice for my beleaguered brain, which switches from agile and active to cloudy and lethargic at a moment’s notice. It’s like having the achy flu all the time, and only feeling better maybe one week a month…if you’re lucky.

So lately delight hasn’t exactly been at the top of my list. Getting through the day has. Mostly I’ve just wanted to go to sleep til it’s over…except that no one can tell me exactly when that’ll be.

And then the other day it dawned on me…

If there’s to be any delight in my life in this season, I’m gonna have to actively seek it out. Apparently, it won’t be coming to me. Yet how does that work when you can barely focus your brain? And no good feeling “sticks” for long? Over the years I’ve learned to choose joy in the midst of some pretty difficult circumstances, but this was different. I wasn’t even sure my “chooser” still worked. But I was willing to give it a try.

In all honesty, the progress has been sporadic at best – but I’m slowly catching on. No back-flips of excitement or total breakthroughs yet…just an intermittent-yet-gradually-growing sense of peace. I’ve also discovered that the first step seems to be connecting with God before I feel any better. One day I started singing an old hymn I remembered from childhood. Another day I found myself thanking God out loud for some momentary comfort that eased my pain. Another day I actually smiled without forcing it. Tiny gains.

And before long, I realized I wasn’t fighting it quite so much. That somehow acceptance was sinking in. Not that I wasn’t actively seeking a solution, but I’d begun to accept that (at least for now) this was my reality. And that God had a plan and was in it with me, whether I sensed His presence or not. I also found myself journaling in a more thankful vein. Even enjoying a laugh here and there. And who knows, before long you may find me back on my tippie-toes again…at least until I collapse back onto the couch in exhaustion!

Hopefully, God willing, this unpleasant season will pass…but I pray that the lessons in delight never will. How about you? What is God teaching YOU lately about delighting in Him in the midst of your circumstances? If you’d care to share…I’d love to hear!


Entry filed under: Obstacles to Growth, Quality of Life.

Holy Hurdles, Batman! Acceptance

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Writer... speaker..."growing edge" seeker


Each new day offers a fresh opportunity to learn or languish, stagnate or grow. Like all sincere Christians, I face the ongoing challenge of finding THE GROWING EDGE.


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1. LISTEN without interrupting
(Proverbs 1:8)

2. SPEAK without accusing
(James 1:19)

3. GIVE without sparing
(Proverbs 21:26)

4. PRAY without ceasing
(Colossians 1:9)

5. ANSWER without arguing
(Proverbs 17:1)

6. SHARE without pretending
(Ephesians 4:15)

7. ENJOY without complaint
(Philippians 2:14)

8. TRUST without wavering
(I Corinthians 13:7)

9. FORGIVE without punishing
(Colossians 3:13)

10. PROMISE without forgetting
(Proverbs 13:12)

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